Monday, September 24, 2012 @1:49 AM
Okay, wow. Although it's now already 1.20 a.m. and I'm really sleepy, I feel that I need to unload all of my thoughts and feelings somewhere, and also record everything that happened on this very meaningful day.
I've been attending church and life groups for around 5 months and I feel that I haven't really changed much. But, people have said that they could see the change in me. Like, I'm starting to get less introverted. Another thing that I myself have noticed, is I have prioritized my studies and stopped playing games. After all the ups and downs in these 5 months, I've finally made the wonderful decision to accept Jesus Christ as my personal lord and savior. What can I say, the feeling of sharing all my worries and doubts and fears and anguish with Him was really amazing. I now feel so free! So, this is how it happened.
Actually, I've been praying to God, even though I wasn't a christian, to tell me the right time to really accept Christ. Before that, sadly, I've rejected Him during two occasions because of number one, doubt and skepticism, and number two, fear of truth and reality. However, friends came and shared various experiences and thoughts with me which actually made me realize how wrong I was. Instead of looking into the past and weeping about what happened, I should be the one who should take the step of faith! To prevent all the other people from meeting the same fate as my dear friend. I will try my very very best to lead as many people as possible, away from hell. The moment I accepted Christ, I broke down crying due to the extreme sadness of realizing that my friend has gone to hell, and many others have gone and will be going to hell. Therefore, I will reach out to everyone! I feel that my goal now, in my heart, is to reach and touch as many people as possible.
The church service today was really amazing. I really felt God talking to me through everyone around me. The pastor, the songs, EVERYTHING! The verse that really struck me was john 8:32 The truth will set you free. It's so amazing that even though I've rejected Him twice before, he never gave up on me, and his attempts at touching and softening my heart gets more and more pronounced that I could not help but feel really really touched. Even though I can't really remember what the pastor said exactly, it went something like, 'do not look at past hurts and prevent yourself from knowing Christ, you yourself must take the step of faith and bring every loved one around you to God'. At that moment, I knew, that God was talking to me. After I accepted Christ, I really felt that the life group family's love is really important, everyone supporting each other, having joy and content in just the presence of one another, brothers and sisters in Christ.
I'm also really thankful that I have such supportive and understanding parents. I called my mum straight after service to tell her the news, we ended up both crying. My mum says that I have both her and my dad's blessings on the decision that I've made, which made me feel really loved and grateful. I love my parents. I love UQ6, I love God :)
I'll constantly update /keep my thoughts and encounters with God here so that I may view it at a later time. Feeling really tired. Good night
Daryl
